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How do you sway yourself?
When I have asked this inquire in our workshops, I normally meet with blank stares at first. I call them 'blank stares' because to be looked at as if you are fully off your trolley isn't something I choose to reinforce. Often the first response implies that influencing yourself is unnecessary. Basically, it runs like this: I decide to do something, I tell myself to do it, and I do it. No sway is required. I don't have to ask myself nicely, or threaten myself with unpleasant consequences, or persuade myself that it will be worthwhile. Really? If we could slow down the opinion processes going on, you might think differently.
Let's take a slightly distinct approach. I theorize that you have, inside you, at least two 'voices' - the pro voice and the con voice. The optimist and the pessimist. The good and the bad. You may have more, you may not think them as 'voices' - that's Ok, I hope that you can work with me on the opinion for a minuscule while.
Let's say that this is two radio stations, 55.5 and 66.6. The first middle point on 55.5 is supportive - bolstering your ego, always proud of you and your achievements. The second, on 66.6 is the doubter, always casting doubts in your mind, running you down, always suggesting that others are trying to get you, that you should not listen to 55.5, it always lets you down - you never realise the dreams that 55.5 suggests. 66.6 reminds you of the difficulties you had the last time you tried to do this or that. How nothing ever works for you, that it's all about luck and fate and opening and that you just are not a lucky person. If you buy a lottery ticket, you will always miss by one whole at best. That nobody else deserves to win anyone either. Basically, this is a bad voice.
I can imagine some of you nodding your heads as you read this. Don't worry, you're not schizophrenic - this is normal, everybody has this going on. Some days it's like a continuous debate, others, one or both are quiet with minuscule to say. You know you have a question when you cannot distinguish in the middle of the voices and which of you is real.
So, which middle point do you tune into?
Here's the two stations yield for a few coarse golfing scenarios... 66.6
Approaching the first Tee on competition day: 'Well, it's a lovely morning with plentifulness of gusty breezes to knock your ball off centre, and a touch of rain in the air, but very unpredictable either it'll rain now or later. You did some good institution yesterday but you know it'll all go to pieces today don't you? You know that you always screw up on the first drive and there's no mulligans today. See your competition today, wow, that first group were good weren't they. No opening you'll keep up with them is there. Still, perhaps you can just enjoy the game for a convert and not worry about winning or losing - after all you know you'll lose, so why get your hopes up? Why on earth do you bother with this ridiculously difficult game? Do something beneficial like mow the lawn. Be more beneficial than out here, being mocked by your friends... Oh no, talking of which, there they are, why do they have to come and watch my first drive. They'll cough or chatter just as I'm lining up, I know they will. Oh well, my turn now, what a disaster, prepare for the worst and don't get angry...
First Tee shot: So nicely lined up, but then anyone can put a ball on a tee can't they. Now decide down, breath, how's the grip - that teacher why did he have to convert my grip, it won't work. Right align my club, look up, look down, those people down there, are in my line, why do they have to stand there, don't they know they could be hit... Calm yourself, that's right, may as well get calm now, because once you hit it there won't be any calm left. And if you screw up this drive, it'll all be downhill for the whole day. Never recover, so get this right. Wiggle the bum, yes nice, settle, legs bent just right, what if my weight shifts before I strike then hit those people standing there. I wouldn't mind hitting that smug bastard - he's such a flash git. Must spend a fortune on those custom-fitted clubs and still cheats with the foot wedge, always in regulation, show him what's what, take his money, he won't be smiling after this. Back swing, nice, but is it right, no of policy not, arm down, elbow's bent at the wrong time, as usual, Thwack..... Follow-through may as well let go of the club, it'll go further anyway.
In spite of this, by some divine intervention, the ball soars through the air and lands smack down the middle of the fairway, 220 yards at least beautifully set up for a second onto the green and a potential birdie: Whoa - didn't know you had it in you. Nice shot, so lucky, you'd never do that again, not in a month of Sundays.
Still, plentifulness of time to screw up yet...
Enough! Sorry, I just can't write anymore of this - it's just too depressing. Is this you? And, were you the one who said that they didn't sway themselves? 55.5 on the same situation...
What a beautiful day, a few gusts, potential rain in the air. Be a good idea to look at the trees as we walk down the course, see where the gusts are going. If it rains, we'll convert clubs and, quick, borrow an umbrella from Jim there, he can pop back and get someone else from his car. So nice that my friends are here to cheer me on. Great guys. Now I'm going to show them a great drive. I can see it now, smack down the middle of the fairway, perfect for a chip up to the green and a birdie. I can't wait to pick up that trophy at the end of the day. Good to have some strong competition - nothing good than a real challenge. First Tee shot: Breath nice and deep, slow my heartbeat and see that drive. A minuscule gusty from left to right over those trees, just align a fraction to the left because this ball's going to soar above that line. Glove, into the zone. Perfect focus, nice alignment, well done, now a charm institution swing, nice and loose in the shoulders. Firm stance, good lad, check alignment, now trust your swing. Thwack. Then, following imperceptible tracks, the ball veers in mid-flight and bounces into the long grass and burrows into the tangled roots of the trees: beautiful drive, well done, aligned just a minuscule too far left, so we'll make sure to fix that. I think maybe the wind dropped as well. Nice lay-up for the second shot - I can use that chip techniques I learned from watching Seve on Tv, good for a par if I'm indeed in the rough, and good for a birdie if it's not too long. Good, well done.
Now, which middle point do you want to listen to? The one that derides you no matter how great you are, or the one that supports you and encourages you no matter how poor the shot?
"I don't care" says someone, so long as I hit great shots I'll put up with either. Fair enough. Which one do you think will help you enjoy your game? Which one will help you towards a stroke lying ill in bed feeling miserable and no-one arrival to visit because you don't even like yourself, let alone anyone else?
Extreme? Sadly no. Go find the most miserable-faced player in your local club and ask them which middle point they tune into...
